My buddy Stanislaw has an awesome-sounding Dad. I don't have a dad, so I've spent the day coming up with an online profile for my mom so she can get me one... but then, just as I was about to put it up, it occurred to me - wouldn't this new dad be in competition with me for mom's attention? Clearly that will not do.
I hear I have a super chill Grandpa who is a Soft Touch for all animals, though. I can't wait until he comes to visit me.